it had been the first day of school.
and i have this creeping scared feeling.
the first lecture,
the lecturer bombarded us with questions.
questions which i didn't know how to answer
questions that others managed to answer
questions that question my basic understanding
questions that doubt whether i was in the right place.
furthermore, his statement
"you are now in one of the best universities"
further scared me.
was i in the right place.
me not being able to answer the questions
why the hell am i here
what if i fail?
what if i don't understand
what if he'll ask me a question and i don't know how to answer
what if.......
the list of negativity keeps going on.
i went back with a faint conscience....
and my 2nd sister was here,
in my dorm.
just her presence cheered me a little
and then i was showing her some of the pictures i took and edited.
particularly a shot i took in Singapore Polytechnic's open house
she help me title it
our monsters
it made me realize that in each of us there's a monster
who doubts oneself and look at ourselves negatively.
the only way to combat it is knock our monsters down
and i will.
i will work harder
i will study smarter
and i will pass my degree course
damn those monsters
F.
